motivation

I have been feeling motivated lately. I really, truly feel - make that I KNOW, that I am going to lose weight and be successful this time - forever. How do I know this?

Because I have tossed aside all of those doubts that the process really works. Exercise. Eat healthy. Cardio. Weights. Flexibility. Good nutrition. It WORKS. Maybe the reason I haven't been successful is that I haven't ever really believed that it works. But....I know it will.

I'm not trying to lose weight so I don't look fat or ugly. I'm trying to get into shape - really look good and be healthy and I'm not hating who I am. I am accepting who I am right now - at 256.5 pounds.

I'm not trying to get back at ex-boyfriends or kids who made fun of me when I was young. I don't think that if I get to a certain weight I'll suddenly be happy. I am motivated because I have something to work towards. I have a clear goal in mind, and I am not going to stop when I get there. I can always better myself...always be healthier.

Having a motivated, positive attitude can make something that seemed unattainable become reality.

ideal body

I subscribe to both Fitness and Oxygen. Oxygen, in my opinion, is by far the better magazine. Fitness used to be good, but not nearly as much as it used to be.

But I am looking at the cover models - and there is such a huge difference. The one on Fitness is thin - but no curves, no muscles. Just a pale, washed out person. But Oxygen - there are muscles. She looks HOT! If I had a choice, I would much rather look like Alicia Marie instead of the no name girl on the cover of Fitness.

I don't want to look like a competitor, but I want the definition and I want to look strong. Of course, right now I don't look like either, but it's about the journey.